late night monologue

i'm having conversation with one of my cousins on facebook last night.we were talking about everything.from the latest event in Kelantan until the story of our late great grandmother.Reminiscing her suddenly make us missed her a lot.


Being the first great grand-daughter in the family,i got all the attentions since i were born.I even lived with her for a while when i was still a baby.When i was a kid,i always called her as Mak Sireh,mimicking her daily habit of eating sireh.While other people called her Mak or Mok in kelantan's dialect.Sometimes i played with her saggy boobs and called  it as Nasik Lemak.She never  even mind me touching and playing with it.How tak senonoh i was when remember back all the memories.U know one thing about old people.they're always got 'taik mata' and they don't even need to sleep to have it unlike young age people.And whenever i see it,i always screamed out loud and trying to tell everybody "mata mak sireh berak lagi!!".She never failed to laugh at it.


Mak Sireh died 3 months ago while i was still in Jakarta.She died due to her old age.She was almost 90 years old at that time.She didn't had any disease and when i looked at the stood out veins on her hands back then while she was still alive,i can imagine how good & healthy her lifestyle was.She was exactly like an old machine which still in a good condition but dead just because the outside body  had rotten out.



The last memory that i remember before she started to forget people was when i went to visit her with my brother,Eddi.She still recognized me at that time but not my brother.She was having a thought Eddi was my husband and keep asking me "orang mana?" like we were newly wed.And that was the last time i saw her laughing.



She was lying weak on her bed for some months.It all started with a back-pain then cant walk properly.Felt in the bathroom for several times and  then she couldn't walk at all or even seat on a couch.
My grandmother and her other children started spoon-feed her since then.The last 4 or 5 months before she goes,she stopped talking.Everybody was noticing it and know her time will come soon as she was a bubbly person before.When she woke up with nobody around her,she will call everybody "budok!!budokkk weihh" to come near her and listen to her nagging.But few months before she goes,it was all silent.


when my cousin told me about him having a dream of her, then i suddenly realized,I almost forgot about her.

p/s : it was good to have someone around who loves U with no reason.